A Gene Huntist School?

It’s just a story – or is it a parable?

You may remember a while back I tried to open a bed and breakfast but fell afoul of British equality regulations. I refused to allow Christians to have a room in my B&B. I have nothing against Christians as people, it’s a case of “love the sinner, hate the sin”, but I couldn’t be sure that they wouldn’t pray while they were in their room, and I have a deep philosophical objection to prayer. (This isn’t just prejudice because I use words like “deep” and “philosophical”) Having had my B&B closed down due to “aggressive equalityists” I have decided to launch a new enterprise – I’m moving into education!

I’m going to establish a Gene Huntist School.

Of course you can’t just go and setup a school based on the beliefs of a fictional detective just-like-that, but, bear with me, I have a plan.

I’m one of the governors of the fictional “Sam Tyler Community School”. It is, as they say, a bog-standard local authority comprehensive. Down the pub, after governor’s meetings, we discovered that most of the governors had lots of opinions in common. We don’t think women should be allowed to do certain jobs, we don’t think gay people should enjoy full equality, we don’t see why equality legislation should apply to people like us.

In fact we all had a lot in common with the aforementioned DCI Gene Hunt.

If  we just tried to change the school straight away we would have all kinds of problems, like having to get those pesky, elected, councillors to agree to our plans so step one is to become an academy and opt-out of local authority control. This should be pretty easy. Mr Gove is all in favour and he has to make the decision after all. OK we have to “consult” with local people, parents, etc. But they don’t have any real clout. Mr Gove is the man – and he’s on our side.

Once we are an academy, we have to apply to change the school to  “A school of Gene Huntist character”.  Again Michael Gove is the man here as once we are an academy we don’t have to consult with anyone else. This shouldn’t be a problem. He is a Tory after all and after the riots a bit of “tough policing” and “old fashioned morality” should go down well politically I think. The beauty of this plan is once we’ve sneaked it through we’ve got it made. Once we are a “Gene Huntist Academy” we can change the rules so that most of the governors have to be “Huntists”, the head teacher has to be a “Huntist”, In fact we can apply the “Huntist” criteria to all our employees and even most of our kids by changing the admissions policy.

We won’t mention this now though. We’ll make the changes after achieving “Gene Hunt Academy” status – because then no one can stop us!

Of course this all nonsense and couldn’t possibly happen here in England. You’re right, it couldn’t, unless ……..

What if “Gene Huntism” was a religion ????

After all, if you saw the last episode of “Ashes to Ashes”, I reckon Gene might qualify, at least as some kind of Angel!

Sorry, got to leave it there, I have a governor’s meeting.

As you can see, I wrote this back in August 2011. It was inspired by the way secular schools could change to religious one via the academy route.

It seems my crystal ball gazing ain’t half bad. https://humanism.org.uk/2014/03/07/bha-expresses-alarm-reported-jihadist-plot-take-birmingham-schools/

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